The Advent Calendar
by lilienprinzessin
Summary: Stocking Stuffer Author Auction Story. Emily wants to be closer to Lorelai and has an unusal idea. Lorelai isn't thrilled at first. Will these two finally be able to get it together? Read and find out.
1. Nov 15th

_This story was written thanks to the __**Stocking Stuffer Author Auction**__ were I signed up for a 2500 word one-shot. It's dedicated to__** gjoni **__who had such a great idea, that I couldn't put it into 2500 words. So thanks to her you're getting several chapters and I hope you enjoy it – but especially__** gjoni**__. It was a pleasure to be owned by you!_

**The Advent Calendar**

_Nov. 15th_

Emily was in the attic, sorting through her large amount of holiday decorations, trying to decide what to use this year - what colours, which theme - so she could make a list of things she already had and wanted to use again and things she had yet to buy. And there were always new things to buy, she made sure of that.

While going through several boxes, she noticed one that had more dust on it than the others. She couldn't remember what was in it and curiosity took the better of her so she walked over and opened it. A little gasp escaped her mouth when she looked at the self-made decorations Lorelai had made as a child. Or the toys she had gotten. Somehow it was all connected to Lorelai's childhood. Memories started rushing through her – often not so pleasant ones. Without noticing Emily sat down on another dusty box, sorting through hers and Lorelai's past. She remembered toys Lorelai hadn't wanted, her refusing to put Lorelai's not so perfect self-made decorations on the tree and in turn Lorelai refusing to make more, since they wouldn't be good enough anyway. Oh yes, both of them were strong-willed. Finally she got to the bottom and another memory flooded her.

"_Please, Mom. I need to have it. It has chocolates in it, for every day," an excited six-year-old Lorelai told her slightly annoyed mother._

"_I know the concept of an Advent Calendar, Lorelai," Emily replied._

"_Do I get one, please, Mom," Lorelai tried again. "There are pictures as well plus Linda will also get one," she added._

"_Don't beg, Lorelai," Emily answered and even six-year-old Lorelai knew when not to go further when she really wanted something from her mother. So she picked another tactic. _

"_Did you have an Advent Calendar, when you were a girl?" she asked her mother five minutes later, when Emily was admiring some new dresses._

"_No, I didn't," she replied curtly._

"_But didn't you wish for one?" Lorelai went on. Emily looked at her child and asked herself why she had her heart set on some silly Christmassy picture with 25 doors and chocolate behind it. Not even good chocolate. But next to that thought she asked herself why Lorelai would think she wouldn't get it. She always got everything she wanted. She made sure that her daughter had everything she wanted. Yet, she hated begging and obedience was a virtue Emily Gilmore appreciated, plus she wanted to surprise her little girl with it, so she just replied "No. And I don't want to hear anymore about it, do you understand me? Now be a good girl and try this on," she said, holding up a skirt with lots of tulle. When she saw the disappointed look in her daughter's eyes, she nearly regretted her decision, but Lorelai's joy on Dec. 1__st__ made up for everything. She was so happy over something not even worth 5$._

For some years Emily had always bought her an Advent Calendar and every time Lorelai loved it. When did she stop? And why? She couldn't remember. Probably she considered Lorelai too old at some point. All Emily Gilmore remembered was that over the years the wall between them got higher until Lorelai left. She tried to forget the horrible years without Lorelai and held onto the thought that she did come back. Reluctantly at first, but now she was coming every Friday without any obligation – sadly without Rory who was a journalist and often away – but instead often accompanied by her husband. And while Luke wasn't Emily's first choice she had learned to accept and even to appreciate him.

She remembered last Friday, the way Lorelai covered her growing belly with her hand and all Emily wished for was to be part of it this time. Not to miss it again. To get closer to Lorelai. But she didn't know how. That was the tragedy of her life. It wasn't that she didn't love Lorelai, not at all, but she just didn't know how to express her feelings. Too much had happened. She was too afraid of rejection, and as long as they did at least talk civilly to each other and Lorelai was coming to her without being forced Emily Gilmore was afraid of saying anything that could put the peace between them in danger.

Sighing she put the things back into the box, but the Advent Calendar and Lorelai's happy eyes lingered on her mind.


	2. Nov 18th

_Nov. 18__th_

The phone was ringing in the Gilmore mansion and since Emily was in between maids again she had to get it herself.

"Hello?"

"Grandma?"

"Rory! How wonderful to hear from you," Emily exclaimed.

"Yeah. I hope you still think so in a minute," Rory muttered.

"Don't you tell me you won't be able to attend Friday Night Dinner - again," Emily scolded, emphasizing the last word.

"I'm really sorry, Grandma, but things are incredibly hectic these times," Rory replied ruefully.

"We haven't seen you in a month then," Emily admonished disappointedly.

"I know. I'm sorry, Grandma. I wish I could change it, but those articles don't write themselves. I'm sorry," Rory apologized.

"Oh - well… I guess there's nothing I can do then. But promise me to take care of yourself, Rory. You should have some time for yourself, to escape the stress and to get into the holiday spirit. It's important to have some quiet times, you know?"

"Don't worry about my holiday mood, Grandma. I'm doing an article about all kinds of Christmas customs right now. It's very interesting," Rory said.

"Is it? What kind of customs?" Emily asked.

"Oh you know. St. Lucia in Sweden, St. Nikolaus, Sinterklaas, Advent Calendars, secret Santas – "

"Advent Calendars?" Emily asked intrigued.

"Yes. Do you know that there are so many different kinds? I mean of course there are the chocolate ones – by the way I loved those as a child, I couldn't wait for Dec 1st, one year Mom got us one for each room…," Rory said trailing off a little and Emily was thinking about Rory's words and how it seemed that Lorelai could make a fun thing out of anything, "…but today you can even send some online," Rory added, focusing on today again.

"Really? But how can you send it online?" Emily asked confused.

"It's not about chocolate but other things. Pictures, cute messages, stories – those kind of things," Rory went on.

"Oh,"

"Yes, it's really interesting. I'm sorry, Grandma. I really need to hang up now. Please don't be mad at me. I promise I'll really, really try to come next Friday," Rory said.

"Don't you worry, Rory. Thank you for calling," Emily replied.

"Say hello to Grandpa from me," Rory said.

"I will. Goodbye Rory,"

"Goodbye, Grandma,"

After hanging up Emily's mind was racing. Lorelai's happy eyes. An Advent Calendar. Her wanting to be close to her daughter again. To feel her arms around her neck after giving her the calendar each year – well at least the first years. "A story Advent Calendar," she whispered, thinking of the short stories book she had to read for her book club lately.


	3. Nov 20th

_Nov. 20__th_

"Richard!" Emily shouted through the house. "Richard!"

"I'm in the study, Emily. Where else would I be?" Richard said a little annoyed, when he left his study to see why his wife was shouting for him.

"Richard, I hate this laptop. It's not working at all. And the printer as well," Emily complained, pointing an accusing finger at the objects she just mentioned.

"What do you want to do?" Richard asked her sighing and sitting down in the chair Emily just vacated. It wasn't the first time that he nearly regretted giving Emily her own set of modern technology.

"I want to print these stories. But it's not working. Stupid printer," Emily muttered.

After Richard clicked several times with the mouse the printer started.

"How did you…? Never mind. That printer is misogynistic," Emily huffed and Richard chuckled.

"What are you printing anyway?" he asked his wife.

"That's none of your business," Emily snapped, trying to prevent him from reading too much.

"Short stories? Emily?" Richard asked questioningly looking through the papers.

"Yes, short stories," she confirmed, snatching them from him.

"For what – the DAR?" Richard asked, still chuckling. "Emily?" he said again and noticing his wife was avoiding his eyes he put his finger under her chin forcing her to look at him.

She sighed. "They're for Lorelai," she finally gave in.

"Lorelai?" Richard asked puzzled.

"Yes. Your daughter, remember?" Emily said sarcastically. "Currently pregnant with our grandchild," she added.

"I do remember Lorelai, Emily. What I don't know is why you're printing short stories for her," Richard said, getting slightly annoyed again. Emily kept silent. "Emily Gilm-",

"Oh fine. If you must know," Emily huffed. "Lorelai loved Advent Calendars as a child. And Rory just mentioned story Advent Calendars and then I thought, why not give one to Lorelai," she said softly.

"Oh Emily," Richard said, pulling her close and kissing her hair.

"I just want to do something nice for her," she said into his chest.

"I know. I think it's a lovely idea. And a lovely story – the one I just skimmed," he said.

"It is, isn't it? I just want – " she couldn't say it, but Richard knew what she was talking about anyway.

"I know Emily. You won't miss out on it this time. I promise," he said into her hair. All Emily could do was nod.


	4. Dec 1st

_Copyright __for the story "Bag of Cookies" goes to Valerie Cox _

* * *

_Dec. 1__st _

Lorelai Gilmore got home from a long day at the Dragonfly. She was in her sixth month now and she was starting to feel tired faster. Luke and Sookie, her mother and basically the whole town were telling her to take it easy, but she wouldn't hear anything of it - though secretly she had to admit that sooner or later the day would come, when she couldn't work full hours anymore. But Lorelai preferred to ban that thought. Exiting her car she went to the mailbox and was surprised to find a little package in it, even more so to recognize the slender handwriting of her mother on it. Why was her mother sending her a package? Didn't they see each other every Friday night? She hadn't mentioned anything yesterday. Curiously Lorelai stepped into the house and ripped it open. A letter and a bag with cookies fell onto the table. Absent-mindedly she ate one of the delicious cookies, while reading the letter. Above some printed text her mother had written a note:

_Dear Lorelai,_

_I hope you enjoy this. _

_Your mother_

And below a printed story:

_**A bag of Cookies**_

_A woman was waiting at an airport one night,  
with several long hours before her flight.  
She hunted for a book in the airport shops,  
bought a bag of cookies and found a place to drop. _

_She was engrossed in her book but happened to see,  
that the man sitting beside her, as bold as could be,  
grabbed a cookie or two from the bag in between,  
which she tried to ignore to avoid a scene. _

_So she munched the cookies and watched the clock,  
as the gutsy cookie thief diminished her stock.  
She was getting more irritated as the minutes ticked by,  
thinking, "If I wasn't so nice, I would blacken his eye." _

_With each cookie she took, he took one too;  
when only one was left, she wondered what he would do.  
With a smile on his face, and a nervous laugh,  
he took the last cookie and broke it in half. _

_He offered her half, as he ate the other;  
she snatched it from him and thought... oooh, brother.  
This guy has some nerve and he's also rude;  
why didn't he even show any gratitude! _

_She had never known when she had been so galled,  
and sighed with relief when her flight was called.  
She gathered her belongings and headed to the gate,  
refusing to look back at the thieving ingrate. _

_She boarded the plane, and sank in her seat;  
then she sought her book, which was almost complete.  
As she reached in her baggage, she gasped with surprise;  
there was her bag of cookies, in front of her eyes. _

_If mine are here, she moaned in despair,  
the others were his, and he tried to share.  
Too late to apologize, she realized with grief,  
that she was the rude one, the ingrate, the thief. _

Just as Lorelai had reached the end, Luke stepped into the kitchen.

"I can't believe she's doing this," Lorelai exclaimed to a puzzled Luke.

"What? Who?" he asked, handing her a bag with pie and absent-mindedly caressing her growing belly.

"This!" Lorelai said, waving Emily's letter in front of him.

"Stop waving. How am I supposed to read this?" Luke replied, taking the letter from his wife. Lorelai impatiently waited for him to finish.

"So?" he said, not exactly knowing why Lorelai was so upset.

"So?" Lorelai repeated incredulously. "Why does she do this?"

"Are you asking me to understand the motives of Emily Gilmore? Then I'd say she sent it to annoy you and to soften the impact she threw the cookies in," he replied sarcastically.

"Very funny," Lorelai huffed.

"Oh come on, Lorelai. Why don't you see it as a nice thing?" he asked, trying to kiss her, but only reaching her cheek since Lorelai eyed the letter again.

"Because my mother always has ulterior motives. Haven't you learned anything?"

Luke stepped to the refrigerator to see what to make for dinner while Lorelai continued her ranting. "And what about that story? Nice way to tell me I'm rude, ungrateful and that it's too late to apologize," she added angrily, pacing the kitchen.

"Lorelai," Luke said, looking at her again. "Where does it say that you are these things?"

"The story, my friend, haven't you read it?" Lorelai said still aggravated.

"Of course, I have. But I don't remember that the woman was named Lorelai," Luke replied.

"Subtlety Luke, subtlety. That's the Gilmore way. I can't believe she's doing this. Now! We're getting along quite well and she starts this," Lorelai went on.

"Maybe she sees herself as the woman in the story?" Luke suggested.

"Luke – hello, it's my mother we're talking about," Lorelai replied. Sighing Luke took the letter again.

"She wants you to enjoy the story, not to get upset. See?" he said, pointing to Emily's note.

"Sarcasm Luke, sarcasm," Lorelai said. Luke put the letter on the table and started on the pasta he intended to make for dinner. Apart from slightly shaking his head he kept quiet. "What?" Lorelai demanded. "Talk to me, Luke," she said softer.

"Will you listen – I mean really listen?" he asked, turning around to face his wife. His beautiful wife, who looked even sexier when being upset with her blushed cheeks. She nodded. "I don't know why she's sending you this, but I don't see anything offending in it. Maybe you shouldn't jump to the worst conclusion, without any proof. It's a story – "

" – a weird story – " Lorelai chimed in.

" – a weird story, but I don't see her insulting you. Maybe it is just what she wrote – something for you to enjoy. Plus she sent you cookies," Luke said.

"Those were good, I have to admit that," Lorelai said reluctantly.

"See? Remember the cookies and forget about the rest," Luke said, turning to the stove again.

"And what do I say to her next Friday? Thanks for the weird story?" Lorelai asked.

"Maybe leave the weird out," Luke suggested smirking. Then he focused on his cooking again and Lorelai looked at the letter, pondering what her mother was up to.

"Luke?" she said after a while.

"Hmm?"

"You haven't greeted me properly," Lorelai pouted.

"That's because you were so upset, that you didn't have any time for your husband," Luke replied, getting closer to her.

"I have time now," Lorelai whispered, leaning in to greet him properly.


	5. Dec 2nd

_Dec. 2__nd_

Today Lorelai got home a little early and again she headed for the mailbox before stepping into the house. She groaned when she found another letter from her mother. Going inside she ripped it open. No cookies this time and no note. Just another story. She skimmed it and got angrier by the second. This time it was about a grandmother spending time with her granddaughter. After finishing she threw the letter on the table and tried to concentrate on the paperwork she had taken with her from the inn. But somehow she couldn't get that letter out of her thoughts. She tried to reach Rory, but had no luck. So she was pacing the living-room, waiting impatiently for Luke to arrive. She would've gone over to the diner herself, but currently Kirk was counting how many emotional breakdowns her pregnancy hormones were creating and in going over she'd probably add two to his list – one about her mother and one about Kirk counting and she didn't see the need to encourage him and his stupid list. Finally she heard the familiar footsteps on the porch.

"I'm home," Luke announced, but Lorelai already rushed towards him. He leaned in to kiss her, but she responded only half-heartedly. "What happened?" Luke asked, looking closely at Lorelai.

"This for me?" she asked eagerly, pointing to the bag he was carrying.

"Of course," he said, giving the burger to her. Lorelai took it and together they entered the kitchen.

"Another lovely greeting from Emily," Lorelai said, rolling her eyes. Then she opened the bag and enjoyed her burger, while Luke took the letter and read the story. After finishing he just looked at Lorelai. He really didn't get why those two always made a problem out of everything. Emily acting strangely by sending these stories and Lorelai by jumping to ridiculous conclusions. "Do you believe me now?" Lorelai finally asked her mouth half-full with her burger.

"Believe you what?" Luke asked.

"That she wants to annoy me," she said, swallowing another bite.

"Why?"

"Luke don't you see it? A story about a grandmother playing lovingly with her granddaughter and both enjoying it. She wants me to feel guilty for taking Rory from her," Lorelai concluded.

"Hmm," Luke said, thinking about it.

"So you don't agree?" Lorelai asked.

"I'm not starting a fight with you over this," Luke replied.

"Oh no, you're not getting out of this one – I want to hear your thoughts," Lorelai said, swallowing the rest of her burger.

"Okay, let's say I'm with you on the game that these stories actually have a connection to our lives. Are you a grandmother?" Luke asked.

"I hope not," Lorelai replied, leaving Luke to roll his eyes.

"I'm with you on that. So you're not the grandmother. Did you have a lovely time with your grandma?"

"Hell, no. I never got to know mom's mother and dad's – well she treated me fairly well compared to mom, but a lovely time – certainly not. But I never said that I'm in this story, it's she – "

"Did Emily ever have the opportunity to play like that with Rory when she was," Luke looked at the story again – "about five years old?" he finished his question.

"No," Lorelai said softly. "But see this is what she wants to tell me – "

Luke held up his hand. "That or that she wants to be a part of it next time," he said, gesturing to her belly. Lorelai kept quiet, looking at it as well. "Lorelai," Luke said, waiting for her to look at him, "from what you told me over the years and from what I observed myself, Emily's biggest wish is to be involved in your life. And her greatest fear is that you will shut her out again. Now you're pregnant and she's sending you stories. Why would she want to annoy you? Or to upset you? So that you shut her out again? I think she wants to be a part of her new grandchild's life and this story tells you that this is how it's going to be. That she wants to play nice games with her grandchild – nothing more," Luke finished, turning the letter in his hands. Lorelai still kept quiet, thinking about his words. "Did you notice this?" Luke asked, pointing at the little _"2"_ written on the backside of the letter.

"No," Lorelai admitted.

"Did the other letter have a _"1_" on it?" Luke asked.

"I don't know," Lorelai replied.

"Well, where is it?" Luke asked, getting up to snatch it from whatever place Lorelai thought fitting for her mother's letter. But Lorelai got up as well, going to the trash can. She picked it up, smoothed it out and handed the backside to Luke, while looking sheepishly at the _"1_". Luke took a deep breath, but decided not to comment on this.

"So, this is supposed to be an Advent Calendar? A story Advent Calendar?" Lorelai asked unbelievingly.

"Seems like it. Did you like those as a kid?" Luke questioned.

"Well, I never got stories, but I loved the chocolates ones," Lorelai admitted. "Did you also get one?" she asked curiously.

"Liz was adamant to get one, so of course I always got one as well, but I mostly gave my chocolate to her," he said gruffly.

"Oh – aren't you the cutest brother," Lorelai said.

"Stop saying I'm cute," Luke grumbled.

"Gentlemanly," Lorelai offered.

"Better," Luke conceded. They smiled at each other before leaning in for a long kiss. After breaking it, Luke looked at the letters on the table again. "But the point is you liked the concept of Advent Calendars. And your mother knows that," he said, hoping Lorelai would be convinced.

"I liked the chocolate. Why isn't she sending me chocolate then?" she asked.

* * *

They were in bed for half an hour and Luke couldn't get to sleep, because Lorelai was tossing and turning. Finally he put his arm around her pulling her close.

"What's up?" he mumbled into her hair.

"Nothing. Sorry," Lorelai replied.

"Liar," he answered. Silence. "Still the letters?" Lorelai nodded. Luke kissed her hair and caressed her belly with his hand. "Did you ever talk to her about everything that happened?" he asked Lorelai, already knowing the answer.

"Hell, no. All hell would break lose," Lorelai replied.

"Maybe that's why," he said.

"What?"

"Maybe that's the reason for her crazy idea. Do you feel guilty?" he asked Lorelai, this time not sure of her answer.

"Why should I feel guilty? You don't know what it was like, living in that house," she snapped. And while her words said no, her tone said yes.

"I'm not saying you should feel guilty. I was just wondering. Yesterday you said that the story meant it's too late for you to apologize. So that means you still feel like you should or should have," he reasoned.

"I said that this was what she wanted to tell me with that weird story. Not that I feel like it. And now go to sleep," she said tensely. Luke kissed her hair again and even though neither of them said anything more both remained awake for a long while.


	6. Dec 3rd

_Dec 3__rd_

Emily was getting more and more nervous. Two days and she hadn't heard from Lorelai. Not that this was unusual, but this time she waited for some sign saying that she made the right choice. Of course both her mind and Richard constantly told her that she was doing a nice thing and that she shouldn't worry about it, because what's there to misinterpret, but her heart knew that when it came to Lorelai and her logic reasoning went out the window. On the one hand she wished it'd be Friday already so she could see Lorelai's reaction, but on the other she feared exactly that reaction.

* * *

Luke was debating with himself whether or not to ring the doorbell. Why did he come here at all? But he knew the answer. He wanted to hear the reasoning behind the letters. He didn't want to encourage Lorelai to make amends with her mother when maybe Lorelai was right after all and all of this was some sick joke. But it couldn't be. "Get a grip on yourself, Danes," he muttered finally pressing his finger to the doorbell. After several shouts for a maid, Emily opened the door herself.

"Luke!" she said surprised and instantly felt her heart beating faster. Now she'd finally get some reaction.

"Hello, Emily," Luke said, still standing outside. After some seconds Emily snapped out of her daze.

"I'm sorry, please come in," she said stepping aside. A timid blonde girl appeared from upstairs. "There you are, Elisa," Emily scolded. "At least take Mr Danes coat now," she said and the maid immediately obeyed. Luke shot her an encouraging look. "Please, come in," Emily said again, leading the way to the living-room. "Would you like something to drink? Tea?" she offered.

"No thanks. I can't stay for long. I just need to…," he trailed off, while taking a seat on the couch opposite Emily, looking at his hands.

"You just need to…?" she tried to get him back on track.

He sighed. Then he looked up with a worried expression on his face, which led Emily to the wrong conclusion.

"Oh my, is something wrong with Lorelai? Or the baby?" she asked scared.

"No, no, they're all right. No need to worry," he calmed his mother-in-law down, who was still looking at him expectantly. He took a deep breath again. "I want to know why you're sending those stories to Lorelai," he finally blurted out.

Emily instantly knew that something was wrong. "What does she think?" she whispered, getting up and pacing the room.

"I asked first," Luke dared to reply.

"Well, what do you think why I'm doing this?" she snapped. "Oh right, no counter-asking, I forgot," she added, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "I don't know what I was thinking. Of course she assumes the worst. Again," she said to the window. Then she turned around to face Luke. "I wanted to do something nice for my daughter. Because against popular belief I'm not out to destroy her happiness. I remembered that she loved Advent Calendars and then I found out that there are all kinds of Calendars today and given that Lorelai isn't a kid anymore I thought some stories would be nice. I even thought that maybe they could bring us closer together. What was I thinking?" she turned to the window again. "Now it's your turn. What does Lorelai think?" she whispered.

"She's just confused," Luke tried to get out of it. Emily turned towards him again.

"Don't lie to me, Luke. I know my daughter. I don't know how she could misinterpret this, but somehow that's what we do. Always turn each other's good intentions around. So – what does she think?" she asked again. Luke knew it was a lost cause. Emily wouldn't stop until she knew.

"She thinks you want to annoy her," he said calmly. Even though Emily turned away again, he could see the tears that sprang to her eyes. He felt lost. His gut told him to go over and console her, but how to console Emily Gilmore?

"Tell her, I won't annoy her anymore. I'll stop sending them immediately. Now, I know this is rude, but since you didn't want to stay for long anyway I hope you'll excuse me," she said, desperately trying not to cry in front of him and fleeing to the stairs.

"No. Emily, don't leave, please," Luke said, getting up as well. The last thing he wanted was for her to stop this, now that he knew he was right about her intentions. To his surprise Emily did indeed stop. But she didn't face him and she didn't say anything further. "I think you should continue to send the stories. Because against popular belief I'm on your side," he said.

"You are?" Emily managed to get out.

"I am," Luke replied firmly. "Lorelai needs you, just as much as you need Lorelai. I never kept her from you. I want you two to get along. I know why you're doing this and I can assure you, you will be a part of it," he said.

"She did it once, she can do it again," Emily whispered.

"I won't stand for it," Luke said. "I want my kid to know the only set of grandparents still left," he continued, his voice getting thick with emotion as well. Slowly Emily turned around. While she knew Luke was a good man and husband before she now saw him in a completely new light. His eyes were just as much glistening as hers.

"I'm sorry. I'm sure they'd be very proud of their son," she said.

"Thank you," Luke replied. Emily walked to the couch and motioned for him to sit down as well.

"I don't know a thing about your mother. Of course you don't have to, but I'd like to know about her – at least a little bit," she offered. This time it was Luke's turn to stand in front of the window.

"Her name was Louise. She was small, brown hair and loving, gentle brown eyes. She had a soft voice. She was always there for her family. She didn't scold us often. Because when we were disobedient her eyes got so sad, that we immediately changed our behaviour anyway, just to get her to smile again. She had a beautiful smile. One day dad and she came home – from hospital, but I didn't know that then – and the smile was gone. She tried to force it, but I knew it wasn't sincere. I knew something was wrong even though they didn't tell us. Some months later she was dead. Dec. 7th – shortly before Christmas. I was nine," Luke said, his voice breaking.

"I'm sorry. That must have been very hard on all of you," Emily said. "Cancer?"

Luke nodded. "What about your mother?" he asked his mother-in-law, wishing to shift the focus away from his past. But he was also genuinely interested. Lorelai said she hadn't known her maternal grandmother.

"She died shortly after I married Richard. Also cancer," she answered. "It's a wicked disease. At least I had Richard," she finished.

Luke digested this new information and suddenly he couldn't hold it in any longer. "What I don't get about Lorelai and you: You still have each other. And it can be over so soon. You should stop hanging onto the past. And don't think I don't tell that to Lorelai as well, I do. That's why I think you should continue the calendar. Lorelai might have been suspicious at first, but I think I could convince her that you just want to do something nice. Actually I came here to get that confirmed, because for the tiny chance that Lorelai was right, I didn't want to talk her into anything, only for her to be disappointed again," he said, looking at Emily again.

"I promise you, I want to do a nice thing for her," Emily said once more.

"I know," Luke said. Suddenly his eyes saw the clock on the mantle. "Oh – I really need to go now, Emily. Lorelai doesn't know I'm here and I'd prefer if it stays that way," he said.

"Of course. Don't worry," Emily said, walking him to the foyer. After saying goodbye, she called after him once more. "Luke?" he turned around on the steps. "Thank you for coming," she said.

"Anytime. See you on Friday," he replied.

"See you on Friday," Emily smiled.


	7. Dec 7th

_Dec. 7__th_

Finally it was Friday. After Luke's visit Emily had continued sending stories, but she hadn't heard anything from Lorelai. Today she hopefully would and she was anxious to see Lorelai's reaction.

* * *

Friday. Today she'd see her mother. While Lorelai had calmed down a bit – with Luke's support – she still thought the idea was weird. What was Emily thinking? Anyway this shouldn't spoil her day. She'd stay at home and even Luke had the day off – that was a rare occasion and she was looking forward to it. Of course Luke had already gotten up. By the time she went downstairs it was 9:30 am and she could smell waffles. Luke was really too good to be true.

"Good morning," she said, coming into the kitchen and kissing her husband. "I don't know what I'd do without you," she said, eyeing the waffles.

"Eating breakfast in a diner?" Luke asked.

"Probably. But this is better. My private diner. Much better," she said, sitting down, her eyes falling on another letter from her mother. "Ugh, mail's early, I suppose," she muttered, ripping it open. Even though she thought the concept weird, she was too curious to wait any longer. Surprised she picked up a little envelope, falling out of the bigger envelope. "Huh?" she said, looking confused at her mother's handwriting. "It's for you," she stated, holding the envelope out to Luke who was still standing in front of the stove.

"For me?" he asked surprised, turning around to face Lorelai.

"Well, _To Luke_ would imply that it's for you," she replied, pointing towards the writing. Luke stepped towards the table and took the envelope out of Lorelai's hands. She was right, his name was written on it. He was about to open it, when he found Lorelai staring at him.

"What? Don't you wanna read yours?" he asked her, feeling unsure about getting a letter from Emily.

"Not as much as I want to know what she wrote you," Lorelai replied.

"Ever heard of the sanctity of the mail?" Luke asked back, concerned Emily had mentioned his coming to her a few days earlier.

"Oh come on, Luke, I share my letters with you as well," Lorelai whined.

"I certainly didn't force you to and now stop staring at me," Luke said, cautiously opening the envelope. Reading the short note he was touched and had a hard time fighting back some tears.

"Luke?" Lorelai asked more serious this time. Luke knew she'd bug him the whole day anyway, so he shoved the letter towards her before going outside. Lorelai picked it up.

_Dear Luke,_

_I just wanted you to know that Richard and I are thinking of you today. It must be very hard, even when it's a long time by now. I completely understand if you're not up to dinner tonight. You know how much I look forward to Friday Nights, but tonight it's about what's best for you. However if you wish for Lorelai to stay at home as well, I'd like to get a call. _

_Emily_

Lorelai's breath got faster. Thinking of you today. Very hard. A long time. The date, what date is today? Frantically she looked around her eyes settling on her envelope at last. _7_. "Shit," she mumbled, going after Luke. So that's why he was at home. How could she forget? Damn. She followed him outside and found him in the garage. "Luke?" she said softly. He quickly wiped his eyes, before looking at her. "Don't hide them," she pleaded, going towards him and hugging him tightly. They stood there for a while silently. "I'm sorry," she finally whispered. He took a step back.

"Why?" he asked, his voice raspy.

"I'm a bad wife," Lorelai conceded.

"No you're not," he replied, his voice getting stronger.

"Even my mother remembers it, but I…"

"Hey, the day just started. You don't know if you wouldn't have thought of it at some point," Luke said.

"You shouldn't console me, Luke. I should comfort you. Especially today," Lorelai said contritely. "So what do you want to do?" she asked him.

"Spend the day with my wife," Luke said.

"That I can give you, and I'm all for the whole day plus evening – "

"Lorelai. We'll go there," Luke stated firmly.

"But Luke, my mother gave us a way out. That's as rare as winning the lottery. We have to take her up on it. She wrote she'd understand. And then I wouldn't have to face her," Lorelai started to ramble.

"Lorelai. You just said today is my day. And she wrote it's my decision. We're going," he said, starting to go back towards the house. Lorelai gave up. He was right anyway. If for some weird reason he wanted to go there today, so be it.

"Hey, how did she know about it anyway?" Lorelai asked after him and for a second Luke froze.

"I guess I mentioned it once," he answered.

"Probably. Oh she's good with dates I have to give her that," Lorelai mumbled before going inside again.

* * *

They spent the next hours snuggling on the couch, talking to the baby, thinking about their past and future. After some silence, Lorelai asked "Don't you wanna go to the cemetery?"

"I was already there this morning," Luke replied.

"Oh," Lorelai said a bit disappointedly. She had hoped to accompany him there. They weren't there very often and it just felt right to go there today. She was sad she never got to know his parents.

"Do you want to go there?" Luke asked.

"If you take your forgetful wife," Lorelai said, still feeling a little remorseful.

"Oh stop that Lorelai. You have so much to think about right now. The inn, the baby, the calendar – "Luke defended her.

"I still should've remembered," Lorelai mumbled.

"So you want to go there?" Luke asked.

"Yes," Lorelai said.

"Then let's go," Luke said, kissing her hair and helping her up.

Inside the car Lorelai suddenly turned towards Luke. "Wait, we'll need flowers," she said.

"Already got that covered," Luke replied.

"But that was from you, I'd like to give something as well," Lorelai said. Luke turned into the street leading to the florist. "Thanks," Lorelai smiled. "So what did you get?"

"Is that important?" Luke asked.

"Well it should fit together," Lorelai replied.

"Red roses," Luke said. When they reached the florist Luke stopped. "You know my dad always brought them to her grave and ever since he couldn't do so anymore, I took over," he said softly.

"That's very nice. I'm sure he'd appreciate that," Lorelai answered, cupping his cheek. "I'll be right back," she said, before exiting the car.

15 minutes later they arrived at the cemetery and slowly made their way to the graves. Lorelai was holding white lilies. Finally they reached the graves, some red, but also some white roses lying upon them. Luke seemed a little surprised. "Wonder who brought those here," he mumbled, while Lorelai placed the lilies next to the red roses, Luke had brought earlier.

"Liz?" she offered.

Luke snorted. "Hell, no. Liz never comes here," he said.

"You can't know that," Lorelai said.

"Well anyway, I know for a fact that for the last years I brought the flowers and only me. Sometimes Maisy brings some, but she never was one for remembering dates. And for the first years Patty and Babette also came but for years it was only red roses on Dec 7th," Luke said. They both stood in silence, looking at the stone and the flowers while hanging onto their thoughts.

"My mother," Lorelai suddenly broke the silence.

"Huh?"

"That's Emily. Why didn't I think of it sooner? White roses are her cemetery flowers. I don't know how often I heard that. _You can't go wrong with white roses, remember that Lorelai,_" Lorelai mimicked her mother.

"You really think so?" Luke asked.

"Of course. Between her note and you saying it's only your flowers for the last years it's the only thing that makes sense," Lorelai said.

"It's a nice gesture," Luke said, again a little touched.

"Yes, it is," Lorelai agreed, this time without any suspicious thoughts on her mind.

* * *

A few hours later they were ringing the doorbell at the mansion. Emily opened the door herself. "Lorelai, Luke, I'm so glad you're here," she greeted them, a sincere smile on her face as she motioned for them to step in.

"Hello, Emily," Luke said and after a quick second decided to bend down to kiss her cheek. "Thanks," he said quietly to her.

Emily was caught off guard. It was the first time her son-in-law greeted her that way, but it didn't feel wrong at all. They shared a look and somehow Emily knew that her flowers were found and appreciated. "You're welcome," she replied, trying to regain her usual composure.

Lorelai felt a pang of envy. Now not only Rory, but even Luke was able to greet her mother that way. A way she sometimes very secretly wished to use herself. "Hi, Mom, yes I and the baby are fine," Lorelai chimed in.

"I would've asked in a minute, Lorelai," Emily scolded, but quickly reminded herself not to aggravate her daughter. Still no comment on her stories. As curious as she was, she wouldn't bring them up.

But before dessert she couldn't take it any longer. "Anything interesting in your mail lately?" she finally asked, cursing herself immediately. The table froze. Richard looked at her concerned, Lorelai stared at her plate.

"Yes, thank you," Luke tried to help. Under the table he nudged Lorelai's leg.

"Some interesting stories," Lorelai finally offered lamely. Her fear had come true, her mother wanted something. Now she had to be careful.

"Interesting?" Emily couldn't help herself she just needed some more reaction.

"Yes. Can't wait for tomorrow," Lorelai said, not entirely convincingly.

"You know, it's not that I have to send them," Emily said hurt. She couldn't take it anymore. "Excuse, me," she added, getting up and leaving. Richard got up as well.

"Lorelai – " Luke started.

"Why do you always have to do this? Do you know how much work your mother put into these letters? Of course you don't," Richard said angrily, going after his wife.

"Wait, Dad. It's my fault. I'll go," Lorelai said, getting up as well. Her mother seemed genuinely hurt and she didn't want that. It's just – well she didn't understand her mother. Why was she doing this?

"Are you sure you won't make it worse?" Richard asked concerned. Lorelai shrugged.

"I don't know why she's doing this, but I'll go and apologize. I promise," she said.

"Even if you don't know her motives, it's no reason to hurt her. And how can you not know them?" her father asked her, getting upset again.

"Well if you're so smart, fill me in," Lorelai snapped.

"No, that's between the two of you. I really hope you don't upset her more," he said, motioning for Lorelai to follow her mother.

Lorelai went upstairs and took a deep breath before knocking on her mother's door. She got no response. After knocking again, she said "Mom, it's me. May I come in - please?"

"Yes," a faint voice answered. Cautiously Lorelai stepped into her parent's bedroom. It hadn't changed from the last time she was there – and that was a long while ago. Her mother faced the window.

"I'm sorry, Mom," she started. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I apologize," Lorelai offered.

Emily nodded. "All right," she said after some silence.

"I'm sure you put a lot of work into it," Lorelai tried, remembering her father's words.

"I don't want to annoy you," Emily said.

"You're not," Lorelai replied, and while saying it and seeing her mother facing the window, kind of devastated, she knew it was true. She didn't feel annoyance anymore. Emily turned around.

"You don't have to placate me. If you want it to end, say so and there won't be any more letters. I promise," Emily said, looking directly at Lorelai.

"I don't want you to stop," Lorelai answered firmly. Somehow it felt as if the end of the letters would also mean an end to their current relationship and she didn't want that. "I just don't understand why you're doing this. I mean I'm sure it is a lot of work, finding the stories and everything…," she trailed off.

"You loved Advent Calendars as a child," Emily reminded her.

"Chocolate ones, yes," Lorelai admitted.

"Well, I thought since you're not a kid anymore… I wanted to do something nice for you," Emily said.

"It is nice," Lorelai said, stepping closer to her mother. They shared a look. "Are we good?" she asked her mother and Emily saw her little girl standing in front of her, asking her not to be mad when she broke something or misbehaved in any other way.

"We are," she affirmed her. "So are you two really all right?" she asked gesturing to Lorelai's belly.

"We are," Lorelai said. "And we're really looking forward to tomorrow's story," she added, to emphasize her new attitude concerning her mother's idea.

"Well I most certainly won't tell you tonight," Emily said and together they went downstairs, continuing their usual banter.


	8. Dec 8th

_Sadly I can't give credit for the story used in this chapter, since all I found was "Author Unknown". If you know more, let me know._

_Dec__. 8__th_

Emily was nervous and she couldn't decide what to do. For the last hour she was pacing the room, several letters already in the bin. She just couldn't decide whether or not to use this story and should she decide to use it, what note to add to it. Once more she thought of last night. While at first Lorelai didn't seem to appreciate her idea, she believed that she gave her a chance now. A chance she should use. So she should take the story and add a note to it. For the umpteenth time she picked up the story, reading it again.

_**A Child's Love**_

_I was off to go back to work one evening and my two children were busy sewing things on the sewing machine. My eleven year old daughter was, in the midst of her project, going to assist her older brother in making a little cushion. I left, and in a few hours returned to find a mess in the kitchen, front room, and both children sitting in front of the television. _

_Having had a long day, I was very short with my greeting to them and then I noticed the material my daughter had used. It had been purchased to make a color coordinated baby blanket, and now had chunks cut out of almost every piece of fabric. Not stopping to listen, I exploded at the children and explained how angry I was at what had been done. _

_My daughter listened to me sheepishly, not trying to defend herself at all, but the pain could be seen written across her face. She retreated to her room quietly, and spent some time in there alone before she came out to say good night and once again apologize for the mistake she had made. _

_A few hours later, as I was preparing to go to bed, there on my bed lay a beautiful, little cushion made out of the forbidden fabric, with the words "I LOVE MOM". Along side it was a note apologizing again, and the innocence in which she had taken the fabric. _

_To this day, I still get tears in my eyes when I think of how I reacted and still feel the pain of my actions. It was I who then sheepishly went to her and apologized profusely for my actions. I display with great pride the cushion on my bed, and use it as a constant reminder that nothing in this world is greater than a child's love._

Emily knew that she had reacted similarly to the mother in the story more than one time – except she never made it to Lorelai's room to apologize. Granted Lorelai wasn't as quiet as the little girl in the story, her apologies were more ones Emily forced her to say, but deep inside Emily knew that there were times when Lorelai was very young where she did try to apologize, but she had been distant and seemingly unforgiving. And then did it even play a role how Lorelai reacted? Wasn't she the mother, the older one, who should've been more like the mother in this story? Closing her eyes, Emily sank down onto her chair, picking up another sheet of paper to start her seventh note.

"_Mom! Mom! __Look what I got for you!" four-year old Lorelai exclaimed, running into the living-room in search for her mother. Her dark curls were flying behind her, her eyes were glistening and her little hand was squishing the flowers she just picked for her mother. Her beautiful mother. "Mom!" she cried out again._

"_Lorelai, how often did I tell you not to yell in this house?" Emily said, coming downstairs. As soon as she stepped into the living-room she saw Lorelai's boots and the dirt she had carried in, her steps all over the white carpet. "Lorelai Victoria Gilmore! See the mess you've made! How often did I tell you to leave the boots outside? Why can't you ever listen? You ruined the carpet! You should be ashamed of yourself. Now get them off and go to your room!" she exclaimed angrily. She wasn't moved by the tears that sprang to Lorelai's eyes. "And give the weed to me, so I can throw it away," she added, grabbing the wild flowers Lorelai still had in her hands. Emily only had eyes for her new expensive carpet._

"_But – "Lorelai started timidly. She wanted to explain that this was a gift for her mother, that she didn't think about the carpet, that she was sorry, but Emily was faster._

"_Don't you dare to talk back to me, young lady! And now get the dirt off your feet, how often do I have to say it?" Emily went on. Lorelai crouched down and slipped out of the offending boots. Not knowing where to put them she held them in front of her. Emily grabbed them as well. "Go to your room," she said, before turning around, dirty boots in one hand and flowers in the other. Lorelai ran upstairs. Emily knew she was crying in her room. After the maid unsuccessfully tried to clean the carpet she informed Emily that a picture had been hidden inside of the flowers. Emily looked at it. It showed herself and Lorelai and a heart. She regretted her outburst, but she was too proud to admit that to Lorelai. And she still thought that Lorelai should've known better than to come inside like that. Granted her voice was softer when she called Lorelai for dinner. But Lorelai barely said a word. She didn't want to aggravate her mother further. When the carpet had to be removed she apologized to her mother. She also tried her best to please Emily in the following days. But there were no more flowers for Emily._

Emily didn't know if Lorelai remembered that scene. But it wasn't the only one. Thinking about it now she hated herself for her reaction. And even more so her pride. Now was the chance to change it. Sighing she lifted her pen again to start her note.

_Dear Lorelai,_


	9. Dec 9th

_Dec. 9__th_

Lorelai didn't admit it openly, but since last Friday she got more and more excited when going to the mailbox. Yesterday her mother had put in some chocolate next to the story and this time it felt as if she'd done it again. It seemed as if she'd really made an effort and Lorelai felt more and more good about it. Opening the letter another small one fell out as well. _Please read the story first _was written on it in her mother's elegant handwriting. Lorelai shrugged and started to read _A Child's Love_. Reading the story she could feel for the little girl and she had some short flashbacks to similar situations. However they never ended like that. Now she was nervous when opening the little envelope. Did her mother remember those scenes as well? What had she written? Her fingers were trembling slightly when unfolding the note.

_Dear Lorelai,_

_I don't know how to express my feelings. This has always been my problem. I was raised that way. You were always different and while I made you feel like this is something bad I envied you, because you could show your emotions. And again I'm not writing about what I want to say. If you could see all the crumpled letters around me, you'd maybe get how difficult this is for me. And this is my last try. But I am determined you know that, so I'll just say it now. While reading the story you just read (in case you were too curious and didn't please go back and do so first – now!) I recognized that I was like the mother in that story. I just saw the negative things in your behaviour and didn't question your motives. Worse, when I knew them I was too proud to admit my mistakes. I wish I could've swallowed my pride and would've gone to you to apologize like the mother in the story. I don't know if you remember the day you ruined the carpet – and again I'm seeing it this way. I could just as well say the day where you brought me flowers, because that was your intention and even though I dismissed it I knew it of course. Anyway I'm not sure if you remember that day, but I'm not proud of my reaction and I wish I'd behaved differently. I also know that this isn't the only example. So much has gone wrong Lorelai and even though I made you feel like it was always your fault that's not true. I'm sorry. I know that it comes (too?) late and I know that it doesn't make up for all that went wrong. But more than anything I want to be a good grandmother and if you let me try again a good mother. I know I wasn't in the past. Again, I'm sorry!_

_Mom_

_P.S.: Now that I've written things I have a hard time to admit to myself, I just have to pick up the courage to send it. I hope I do. _

Lorelai read the letter twice. She had tears in her eyes – later she'd blame it on the hormones. Her mother – Emily Gilmore – apologized to her in writing. That had never happened before. And she didn't know how to react.

Should she call her? Drive over? But what to say? And would her mother know what to reply? She'd written a letter on purpose, so maybe that was their way to communicate now. Yes, she'd reply in writing as well.

Lorelai went to her desk, taking her mom's letter with her and started an answer. But she wasn't more successful than her mother. It was indeed difficult. How to answer her wish about wanting to be a good grandmother and mother? Could they really start all over? Was it that simple? But staring at the blank piece in front of her Lorelai knew it wasn't simple at all.

* * *

Emily was a wreck today. The maid didn't even dare to be in the same room with her anymore. What would Lorelai think of her note? How would she react? Would she react at all? Sighing Emily went to the drinking cart and against her usual principles downed a glass of Scotch. It was only 2 pm. And then a relieving thought crossed her mind. Maybe she hadn't read it yet. After all she didn't know when Lorelai opened her mail. Maybe after coming home from the inn. Yes, that must be the reason for the lack of reaction. Downing another Scotch Emily tried to concentrate on her annual Christmas Party, but she didn't get much done today.


	10. Dec 10th

_Dec. 10__th_

Emily Gilmore was in a bad mood today. She hadn't heard from Lorelai at all yesterday and she didn't know what to think of it. Richard tried to cheer her up, but she didn't want to be cheered up and soon he went to work and she was left alone in her house, with a maid who was deathly afraid to come near her. So she was more than surprised when she heard quiet footsteps approaching.

"Mrs. Gilmore?" her maid asked timidly, curtseying.

"Yes?" Emily snapped.

"The mail, ma'am," she said, leaving a stack of letters on her desk and hurrying away. Emily took them. At least something to distract her, but her heart stopped for a second when she recognized that one was from Lorelai. So she had responded to her after all. With trembling fingers she ripped it open.

_Dear Mom,_

_You say you envy me, because I have no difficulty to show my emotions, but that's not true. Right now I don't know what to say or better what to write. This isn't my first try either and you deserve a quick answer so I'll do my best. Though I'm not even sure I know myself what I feel. So I'll just start with what I know. Thank you for your note. I can't even begin to describe how much it means to me. Even more because I know it wasn't easy for you. Thank you! At first I didn't know what to think of your story calendar idea, but I admit that I like it by now. I'm glad you're doing this for me. _

_I do remember the carpet. And the flowers. And well… you're right it's a long time ago, but I appreciate your apology. You said you always saw the negative things and I think that somehow I did the same over the years. Maybe we can both try to see the good in the other. I see you're making an effort and I want to do so as well. Maybe it can work, when both of us try. _

_And Mom, you are a good grandmother. Ask Rory. I never doubted that. And I'm sure you'll be just as wonderful concerning your newest grandchild. _

_Lorelai_

_P.S.: I did read the story first._

Though having tears in her eyes, Emily had to smile while reading the P.S. She noticed that Lorelai didn't refer to her skills as a mother, but maybe that was asked too much. And did she even want to hear her honest opinion? The note sounded sincere and it was definitely a start. A good start. After reading the note again Emily Gilmore felt a lot better and went to the kitchen to get some coffee. The maid wouldn't hear her calling anyway. Stepping into the kitchen, she heard the sound of glass breaking. A scared maid looked at her in horror.

"I – I'm sr – sorry, - ma'am," she choked out, while kneeling down to pick up the pieces of glass. She didn't dare to face Mrs. Gilmore. That would surely be the end of her being in this house and she wasn't sure she regretted it. Mrs. Gilmore paid very well, that was true, but other than that…

"Be careful not to cut yourself," Emily simply said, before going to get some coffee.

Surprised her maid risked a short look. Mrs. Gilmore seemed changed. Her steps were close to dancing. When she turned around the maid quickly dropped her attention to the pieces again, throwing them away, before getting up.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Gilmore," she said again, staying before her, her eyes dropped, scanning the floor for leftover pieces.

"Well, such things happen," was the reply and the maid couldn't but look up in amazement. "Just make sure they don't happen too often," was added and it sounded more like Mrs. Gilmore again.

"Yes, ma'am," she replied.

"Now, please start preparing lunch," Emily Gilmore said, turning to go back to the living-room to finish her mail.

"Yes, ma'am. Thank you," the maid replied relieved, curtseying.

Emily nodded and went away. Nothing would spoil her mood today anymore.

* * *

Lorelai was confused. No mail. Wrong - mail, but not from her mother. Her first terrifying thought was that something had happened, but then she reminded herself not to jump to any conclusions too soon. Maybe the mail was slow this time. (Or maybe her mother had expected an immediate reaction and didn't send it because she was hurt or angry or whatever. – But that was jumping to conclusions again.) Lorelai wanted to go on with her daily work, but she couldn't. Her mind always went back to the note her mother had written and to the one she had written in response and to the empty mail box. Her mother's hurt face last Friday. Finally she went to her letter box – she had bought one extra for those stories – and picked them up again, hoping to find a solution there. The first crumpled letter. How suspicious she had been. And now she was concerned, because today's was missing. While looking at the envelopes she suddenly recognized that her mother hadn't sent them by mail. Why didn't she recognize that sooner? Did that mean she came here – at night? To bring it to her in person? That couldn't be. But they were definitely not sent by mail. So maybe her lack of reaction was the reason for the lack of mail today. Sighing she picked up the phone. And dropped it again. She didn't know what to say. She wouldn't call. She sent her a note after all. Now it was her turn. But she'd definitely wait for whoever was bringing the next letter.

Luke just shook his head when Lorelai filled him in. Those two were really way too complicated. But maybe staying up wasn't a bad idea, maybe they'd finally solve something. So it was decided that Luke would go to bed early – he had an early day anyway – and Lorelai would wait.

Every car that turned into her street made Lorelai's heart race faster. And finally one stopped. She could see her mother hurrying over the street, a letter clutched in her gloved hands. Quickly she stepped outside.

"Mom!" she exclaimed and Emily put her hand including the letter over her heart. She nearly slipped.

"Lorelai! You scared me half to death," she replied. Now she was caught. And she was sure they'd gone to bed already seeing no light downstairs.

"Sorry," Lorelai answered, not sure what to say next.

"You'll catch a cold, standing outside like that," Emily said, recovering from her shock.

"Then please come inside, Mom," Lorelai said and Emily followed her. Both hearts were beating faster. Lorelai motioned for her mother to sit down on the couch and she took the chair next to it. "I didn't get any letter today," she complained.

"I'm sorry," Emily replied.

"You come here in person? Every night?" Lorelai asked incredulously. Emily looked at her hands. She was still holding tomorrow's letter.

"You didn't realize it before?" she questioned. Now it was Lorelai's turn to look down.

"No," she simply said. Silence ensued. "Were you away yesterday?" she finally asked.

Emily was about to fib, but decided against it. "No. I just – I wasn't sure what to expect when coming here. I mean it's a miracle no one saw me until now and I – well, I decided to mail it, though I don't trust the mail and as I see I was right. I guess it'll arrive tomorrow," Emily said.

"Probably," Lorelai responded. Why did she wait? This was awkward.

"Where's Luke?" Emily asked, trying to make small talk.

"In bed. He has to get up early tomorrow," Lorelai said.

"I see. Thank you for your letter," Emily said, looking at the carpet.

"Thank you for yours," Lorelai replied. Both fell silent again. "You know, Mom, as I've written I do remember that day," Lorelai said. Emily nodded. They shared a quick glance before Emily was fingering the letter again. "You know, there was more… I mean, it wasn't just about the flowers, I – there was a picture," Lorelai stopped. This was stupid.

"I know," Emily said quietly. Lorelai looked up surprised. "I still have it," Emily confessed. She got up and faced the window, tears glistening in her eyes. Tears she didn't want her daughter to see. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Oh Mom," Lorelai didn't know what to say further. And somehow she couldn't go over. After what seemed like an eternity Emily regained her composure. She turned around.

"I should go," she said. She wished she knew what to say, but she didn't. And before they'd destroy anything it was better to leave.

"I want my story," Lorelai said, pointing at Emily's hands.

"But it's for tomorrow," Emily stated.

"I didn't have one today," Lorelai pouted. "Please," she added. Emily debated silently with herself.

"All right," she finally said, giving the letter to her daughter and turning to leave.

"Stay," Lorelai demanded. Emily's heart stopped for a beat.

"I'd rather not," she replied quietly.

"Why?" Lorelai asked. And Emily couldn't answer. It was a gut feeling, she couldn't explain it. Lorelai wanted to connect to her mother so badly in that moment and maybe the new story would be the way. However watching her mother fighting with her emotions, she decided not to force anything. After all Emily knew the content - she didn't. "Well, if you really think you should leave…" They shared another look.

"You want me to be here when you read it?" Emily asked.

"Yes," Lorelai shrugged. Defeated Emily sat down again. "Thanks, Mommy," Lorelai smiled shyly, before opening the letter. This time a white handkerchief fell into her lap (next to the chocolate of course, which was eaten immediately).

And then Lorelai read the story of a girl who'd ran away from her parents and after years decided that she wanted to come back. Not sure if her parents wanted her to come home she wrote a letter apologizing to them, saying that she'd like to come home. If her parents wanted her to come back they should put a white fabric out of the window of her old room on Sunday. If there wouldn't be any white cloth she'd just drive away. With a beating heart the girl drove up to her parent's house next Sunday only to see white clothes hanging out of every window. Her parents had wanted to make sure she wouldn't miss it.

Lorelai's eyes dropped to the white handkerchief in her lap. Tears were coming to her eyes. Emily had a hard time to keep sitting. Maybe she'd gone too far this time.

"You wished for such a letter, didn't you?" Lorelai asked quietly, her voice slightly trembling.

"Yes," her mother replied just as quietly. "I always wanted for you to come back," she added sadly.

"But I am back now," Lorelai said, looking at her mother.

"No you're not," Emily replied.

"I am. I come to dinner – on my own. You see me regularly," Lorelai insisted.

"You still don't share your life with me. And maybe that is asked too much. Nothing has changed," Emily said resignation in her voice.

"How can you say nothing has changed?" Lorelai asked.

"You come to dinner, yes. We make polite small talk. Other than that – nothing. I have to pry for every tiny information, about the baby, about the inn. I'm not even allowed to feel the baby, I never was," Emily finished, cursing herself for saying too much. Lorelai was taken by surprise. She wanted to feel the baby? She never said so. How was she supposed to know?

"You want to feel the baby?" Lorelai asked gently.

"Oh forget it," Emily said getting up.

"Oh no – wait," Lorelai said, getting up as well and forcing her mother to sit down again. Then she took her mother's hand and put it on her growing stomach. "Wait a little, sometimes it kicks," Lorelai said. "We should coax it," she added, caressing her belly and motioning for Emily to do the same. Suddenly the baby moved. A smile quickly spread over Emily's face, before her expression changed to something Lorelai couldn't read. Emily got up.

"Excuse me," she said with an unsteady voice, basically fleeing to the bathroom.

Lorelai was perplexed. That was the last she'd expected to happen tonight. She didn't know what to do. She didn't know why her mother was in her bathroom now. She didn't know what she'd done wrong. She hadn't known that she wanted to feel the baby and as soon as she did, she'd made sure Emily got her chance. What was going on in her mother's mind? She'd never understand her. Sighing she got up and slowly followed her mother. In front of the bathroom she heard muffled sobs. She knew her mother didn't want to be seen like this, so she backed off and made some coffee – decaf of course. She didn't care about the time, she needed it now. When she was just debating with herself to knock on the door, her mother came out.

Emily had made sure to redo her make-up, but she figured that Lorelai would see that she'd cried. Maybe she'd even heard her. She didn't know herself, why she'd lost it. But Lorelai sharing this experience so willingly with her, to feel her grandchild – it was just too much. But what to do now? She'd made a fool of herself. Why hadn't she run outside? This would be so awkward now. "I'm sorry," she mumbled, when entering the kitchen, barely looking at Lorelai. Though what she saw in the tiny second she looked at her daughter wasn't accusing or angry or anything similar. She couldn't describe it, but it felt rather good.

"I made us coffee – decaf," Lorelai said, grimacing at the last word. Gratefully Emily took the offered cup.

"Thank you," she said, taking a sip.

"I'd make you real coffee, but Luke threw everything out, because I can't be trusted," she tried to lighten the mood. "He's probably right though," she added.

"Probably," Emily smiled and they shared a look. "I don't mind it," Emily said. Silence fell upon them. "It's not bad – "

"I'm sorry, Mom," Lorelai said just a second after her mother started her sentence. Both laughed nervously before Emily motioned for Lorelai to speak. "I'm sorry. I didn't know you wanted to feel it and I didn't mean to hurt you or – "

"It's not your fault, Lorelai. Don't worry. I overreacted. Thank you for sharing it with me though," Emily said looking at her watch. "It's late, I should go. Your father will be wondering what happened. Maybe I should call him," she mused. Lorelai got up to get the phone. After Emily had assured Richard that she'd be home soon, she turned to leave.

"Thanks for coming, Mom. Every night," she said. Emily smiled and nodded. She was already outside when Lorelai whispered "and thanks for the handkerchief," but she said it so quietly that Emily wasn't sure whether or not she had imagined it.


	11. Dec 15th

_Dec. 15th_

"Luke come on we'll be late," Lorelai yelled through the house. Today was her parent's early Christmas party and this was the one time of the year when she wanted to be early. No dinner yesterday, but delicious apple tarts tonight. By now Lorelai couldn't wait for the stories and little notes Emily sent. It seemed that this time they both made an effort and things were going better and better. However if they'd ever be able to talk about the past she wasn't sure. Maybe it wasn't necessary. "Luke, come on," Lorelai repeated. Finally her husband came downstairs, grumbling.

"It's six," he complained. "We're not expected earlier than seven. Your mother even wrote it in this morning's note. Plenty of time," he said, looking pointedly at Lorelai.

"I don't care what she wrote. This is the one time of the year where I have to be early to find the tarts and snatch some. Plus even I have to admit that Emily has a hand for decorating the house Christmassy," Lorelai said, pushing Luke to the door. Luke complained some more but in the end they arrived in front of the mansion at 6:30 pm. Lorelai quickly rang the doorbell. A new maid opened.

"Anthea, don't let my daughter into the kitchen, I mean it," came Emily's voice from upstairs. Some seconds later she descended the stairs.

"Gee, thanks Mom. Merry Christmas to you too," Lorelai grumbled.

"It's not Christmas yet," Emily pointed out.

"Well, I know that, but I wasn't sure you do," Lorelai replied.

"Hello Emily. The house looks lovely," Luke greeted his mother-in-law.

"Why thank you Luke. You look very nice as well," Emily replied, appreciating Luke's effort to dress up.

"Yes, isn't he handsome," Lorelai said, looking up at Luke.

"Would you stop that?" he hissed. Emily and Lorelai shared a look and started to laugh. "Where's Richard?" he demanded, trying to focus the attention on something else.

"I'm sorry, Luke. He's still upstairs, but he'll come soon. Would you like a drink?" she offered, going to the living-room.

"No thanks," he answered.

"I can get you a beer if you want," Emily said. Lorelai and Luke shared a look.

"Thank you, Emily, but no," Luke said and Emily seemed confused. "See Lorelai and I have this little bet going. She's always complaining about the things she's not allowed in her pregnancy and I said it's not that difficult so I'm showing her in following the same rules. Meaning no alcohol," he explained.

"Really Lorelai," Emily said.

"I didn't force him. He can drink anything he wants to," Lorelai defended herself.

"That's right," Luke jumped in. "But I don't want any alcohol, thanks again, Emily," he added firmly. "I'll take care of Lorelai and me," he said, joining Emily at the drinks cart.

"All right. I guess I'll see what's keeping Richard so long. I told him to be ready early. And Lorelai – don't even try," Emily said while leaving the room.

"Quick, cover for me when she comes back. Bathroom," Lorelai said, going straight into the kitchen. After bribing the maid she was even allowed to peek into it, but nothing. Not a single tart. "Damn. Where has she kept you?" Lorelai muttered, sneaking through the house – even Richard's study.

"No luck yet?" Emily asked playfully when she saw Lorelai coming out of the study.

"No, but I'll find them," Lorelai said determination on her face.

"Find what?" Emily feigned ignorance.

"You know exactly what," Lorelai replied.

"Oh – the apple tarts. I'm sorry Lorelai, but I didn't have any time this year," Emily said.

"You can't fool me, Mom. I smell them. They are here – somewhere," Lorelai said, while the doorbell was ringing. Emily went to greet Rory. They hadn't seen each other in a long time and again Lorelai felt a little pang of envy seeing both of them hugging.

"I'm so glad you could make it," Emily said.

"I wouldn't miss your Christmas party, Grandma," Rory replied, smiling at Emily. As if he'd planned it, Richard came downstairs at the same time his granddaughter arrived.

"Rory, good to see you. You look nice – working treats you well," he greeted her.

"Thanks Grandpa. Hi Mom, hi Luke," Rory said. "No tarts yet?" she teased her mother after seeing her pouting face.

"No, but I'll find them, don't worry," Lorelai said. Everyone laughed.

During drinks Lorelai sneaked upstairs. Usually her mother didn't allow food of any kind to be upstairs, but her nose told her this time was an exception. Plus she'd already searched everywhere downstairs. She opened the door to her old room and there they were. On her bed. With a note attached. _For Lorelai._ About 20 tarts.

"I knew you'd find them eventually," Emily's voice appeared behind her.

"No way to fool my nose," Lorelai replied.

"No, certainly not," Emily laughed.

"Where's the rest?" Lorelai asked which made Emily laugh even harder.

"A good nose and a quick mind. Well, I thought this would keep you occupied until dessert. The rest is safe in my bedroom – and don't you dare go in there," she answered, pointing her finger at Lorelai.

"So these are all mine?" Lorelai asked touched.

"Yes. Enjoy," Emily said, turning to leave.

"I can't believe you brought them upstairs," Lorelai mused.

"Me neither. Our whole bedroom smells," Emily said, stopping in the doorway.

"Thanks Mom. They're delicious as always," she said, already eating the first. Emily nodded. She wanted to leave again, but Lorelai stopped her once more. "I was at the doctor's yesterday. We're fine. I can show you your grandchild if you like," Lorelai offered, opening her purse and waiting for Emily's reaction.

"I'd like that very much," Emily said, going back to Lorelai who took a picture out of her purse.

"Here's the head, and here the feet," Lorelai explained while Emily admired the little picture.

"And you're okay – both of you?" she asked to be sure.

"Yes. Couldn't be better. Here!" she grabbed Emily's hand and pressed it on her belly. "Did you feel it? It wants to greet you," she said excitedly and Emily's eyes were glistening, while she was caressing Lorelai's belly.

"Hello little one," she said. "It's me, your grandma," she whispered, lost in the moment. Lorelai put her hand over Emily's. "Thank you," Emily said sincerely, looking at Lorelai and stepping back a little. Lorelai nodded. "I have to go, they'll ask for me," Emily said. Lorelai nodded again, waiting for her mother's demand for her to follow her, but it didn't come.

"I'll come soon," she said after Emily, taking another tart.

* * *

Everyone was gone already – even Rory – so it was only Emily, Richard, Lorelai and Luke. They wanted to say their goodbye's as well, when Emily appeared with a little package.

"It's tomorrow's story. Luke, I trust you won't let her open it in advance," she said, giving it to Luke.

"I won't. Thank you for the evening Emily," he said. Emily nodded. Lorelai bent her head to the package, sniffing. Her face lit up. More apple tarts.

"Thanks Mom," she said, smiling.

"I figured you'd like it," Emily said.

"I love it," Lorelai replied. "So no dinner on the 21st, because of the DAR Christmas ball, right?"

"Right," Emily replied, looking a little sad.

"But you and dad are coming to us on the 25th," Lorelai reminded her mother.

"We'll be there. Definitely," Emily said and her face lit up again. After saying goodbye to each other Lorelai turned to Emily again. "The house really looked beautiful," she said, before following Luke.


	12. Dec 21st

_Dec__. 21__st_

"Richard, we really need to get ready. I'm the president, I can't be late. So hurry!" Emily yelled for the second time through the house. "And you better not let me call you a third time," she added threateningly.

"I'm coming, I'm coming," Richard replied, leaving his study after some calls to Europe. "You know, you're not the only one who has obligations," he grumbled while climbing the stairs, but Emily was already in her room again, getting dressed.

"Please zip me up," she said, her back to Richard, as soon as she heard him coming in.

"My pleasure," Richard replied, zipping her up and dropping a kiss on her neck. "You look nice, Emily – very nice," he said, admiring her new green dress.

"Thank you. And you're still late. Your tuxedo is on the bed. Take a quick shower and then get dressed," Emily said hurriedly, already trying different hair-do's. When she didn't notice Richard moving she turned around and saw him frowning at her. "Please, darling," she added, going over and giving him a quick peck on the cheek.

"I'll be right back," he replied, bending down to kiss his wife properly and then fleeing to the bathroom, before she'd scold him again. Emily shook her head and sat down in front of her mirror. After finishing her hair and make-up she looked at her jewellery and picked out some sapphire earrings when Richard came in again, only wearing a towel. "How's the Advent Calendar going?" he asked his wife.

"Quite well, I think," Emily replied. "It's tricky to find enough stories, but I think Lorelai really likes it by now. Sometimes she calls to tell me some minor things about her day. She never did so before. I'm seriously thinking that this time it could work out," Emily said, her thoughts trailing off. That would be too good to be true. Another grandchild, another chance, her daughter not hiding her life from her. Suddenly she felt a familiar hand on her shoulder.

"I'm sure it'll work out this time. You both seem to be making an effort and that was rarely the case before. She won't shut us out again," Richard said, bending down to kiss her cheek.

Emily just nodded. Talking about it now would ruin her make-up. She squared her shoulders. "We need to get going," she said, getting up, taking Richard's hand and smiling at him.

* * *

Lorelai sat in the living-room, wrapping gifts when Luke came downstairs. "You know, it's odd, but I do feel like going to my parents today. And that I kinda miss them is even more odd," Lorelai admitted. Luke smiled. It seemed to work out like he hoped it would.

"I don't think it's odd. They're your parents. It should be that way. And they were really nice these last few weeks. Plus they're definitely looking forward to becoming grandparents again," he said.

"Oh yes, you better build another room just for the presents this little one will get," Lorelai replied, caressing her belly. "I bet if Grandma knew your sex, she'd already have filled one room," she whispered towards her stomach. Luke laughed. "You're laughing now mister, but wait and see. The power of Emily Gilmore's shopping genes," Lorelai warned him. "Sooner or later we will have to talk to her about it, I just know it," Lorelai mused, more seriously this time.

"Yes, but gently. She's just excited Lorelai but you're right, we should set up some rules, but there's still time," Luke said. Lorelai nodded. Her eyes fell upon her story box and she regretted that it was coming to an end. After embracing the idea she had to admit that Emily found nice maybe even healing stories. She could imagine now that it hadn't been easy for Emily as well. Her running away and losing them. Back then she hadn't thought about her mother's feelings. She hadn't thought she'd feel bad about it. Not too bad at least, but the stories Emily had picked told her different things. She had waited for them – always. Just like her room in the mansion was still the same. And her mother could see her mistakes now and apologize for them. She'd never imagined Emily Gilmore writing such a note to her. She'd always treasure it. She was calling her mother every now and then to do some small talk and they both seemed to like it. Sometimes it was a little awkward, but they didn't get into any fights. Yes, these last days Lorelai Gilmore was more and more thinking about the past and she knew that she hadn't been easy as well as a teenager. However admitting that – and apologizing – was more difficult than she thought. And was it even necessary? Things seemed to be good right now maybe starting such a talk would hurt her mother again. And she didn't want that. Still it didn't feel right, not to say anything, when Emily was opening up. Sighing she turned to her packages again. If only she knew what to get for her mother. She wanted to give her something meaningful, something she would treasure, that would show her mother how much she appreciated her efforts, but until now she didn't have any good ideas. Just the usual perfumes, etc. and that didn't seem right. Not this time.


	13. Dec 23rd

_Sadly the Author to the story used in this chapter isn't known to me again. _

_Dec. 23rd_

One last story. One more story and the Calendar was over. Emily Gilmore looked at the one she had in mind. In fact she did have this particular story in mind ever since she'd started the calendar, but was never sure whether or not to send it. Things were good right now and she felt she should do so. She read it once again.

_**The Limits of Love**_

_After the divorce, her teenage daughter became increasingly rebellious. _

_It culminated late one night when the police called to tell her that she had to come to the police station to pick up her daughter, who was arrested for drunk driving. _

_They didn't speak until the next afternoon. _

_Mom broke the tension by giving her daughter a small gift-wrapped box. _

_Her daughter nonchalantly opened it and found a small piece of a rock. _

_She rolled her eyes and said, "Cute Mom, what's this for?" _

_"Here's the card," Mom said. _

_Her daughter took the card out of the envelope and read it. Tears started to trickle down her cheeks. _

_She got up and gave her mom a big hug as the card fell to the floor. _

_On the card were these words: _

_"This rock is more than 200 million years old. That's how long it will take before I give up on you."_

Yes, she would send it. Granted, she never did have to pick Lorelai up because  
of an arrest for drunk driving, but if she hadn't gotten herself pregnant, a DUI arrest would have been more than likely just a matter of time given Lorelai's wild partying days back then. They did however have lots of other fights. And she never reacted like the mother in that story. She reacted with curfews, grounding and other punishments. That didn't seem to work though. She always knew Lorelai was sneaking out. Sometimes she called her on it, grounding her even longer sometimes she ignored it, because she knew it wouldn't change anything to fight again. And sometimes Emily Gilmore was too tired to fight with teenage Lorelai. And Richard had always been away.

She knew that even though she was often angry at Lorelai and couldn't understand at all why she had to rebel against everything she said, she loved her. She was her daughter and she loved her. Simple. But she wasn't sure Lorelai knew. Thinking about it she came to the conclusion that Lorelai maybe thought she wasn't loved. And this was far from the first time that she wished she could just come out and tell Lorelai that she did love her. So this story would be it. And she'd add a note. And risk everything. Now or never. Emily opened her pen.

_Dear Lorelai,_

_So this was the last one. I hope you enjoyed it. About today's story, while you never were arrested for drunk driving I recognize you in this story. Sadly I don't recognize me. I never gave you such a gift and I wish I had. Maybe things would've gone differently then. I don't know._

_I guess that sometimes it looked as if I've given up on you. But I hadn't. Not really. I always waited for you to come back, but I know I didn't take enough action. It's not because I didn't want for you to come back, you don't know how much I wanted that, but because I thought you didn't want it. I still think I'm right about that. However this is long in the past now and you assured me that you are back now and for that I'm very grateful and I hope and pray it'll stay that way. _

_Reading this story I want you to know one thing. To me it was always clear, but I'm not sure it was to you. I love you. I always have (and yes I mean that, even when we had our worst fights) and I always will. You are my daughter and I love you. Now I said it. Wrong, I wrote it. I know there's a difference. I can only hope that I'm also able to say it to you one day. I'm proud of everything you've achieved Lorelai. And I'm so looking forward to next year. _

_Love, Mom _

Emily quickly slipped the note into the envelope, fearing that reading it again, she wouldn't send it. Now she waited for darkness to put it into Lorelai's mailbox. And then she'd anxiously wait for her reaction. Tomorrow would be a long day.


	14. Dec 24th

_Dec. 24th_

Lorelai was up early. She had lots of things to do. Tomorrow her parents and Rory would come over – actually Rory would come today – and she wanted everything to be perfect. She went to the mailbox wondering what Emily had put in it for today. The envelope had a bulge and was heavy. As if a stone was inside. Curiously Lorelai went into the kitchen and ripped the envelope open to find that she was right. A stone. And another little envelope next to her usual letter. She frowned at the stone. "I wonder what this is about," she mumbled, as she put the stone – which was quite a beautiful one – on the table and looked at the little envelope. Once more Emily asked her to read the story first. After reading _The Limits of Love_ tears were already pooling in Lorelai's eyes and they spilled over as soon as she caught sight of the stone again. She anxiously opened the note Emily had written. She was openly crying once she had read it. Never had her mother written something like that to her. And while she knew deep inside her heart that she had longed for this, reading it now she knew how much she had wanted this. To feel loved. She grabbed the stone and cried. She cried for all the time they'd lost, the years spent apart, her rebellious years, but mostly because she finally felt loved. Without a doubt and without any conditions. Just love. Her mother's love.

Concerned Luke came downstairs. What happened? Why was Lorelai crying? Even though it happened once in a while lately considering the pregnancy hormones he was a little scared when he saw her. She was clutching a stone as if her life depended on it. Then he saw the letters. Wordlessly she handed them to him. Reading Emily's note he was touched as well. He sat down and pulled Lorelai onto his lap – though that got more and more difficult considering her growing belly. Lorelai snuggled into him and cried, her fingers still caressing the stone. And Luke sat there and soothed her. Caressing her hair and her belly and waiting for Lorelai to stop. Finally after minutes Lorelai seemed to calm down. He handed her a handkerchief and she blew her nose. "She, she loves me," Lorelai sniffed.

"Of course she does. Didn't you know?" Luke asked her softly.

Lorelai shrugged. "Sometimes I wasn't sure. She never said so in years. And even when I was little I can barely remember it," she explained. Luke wiped the tears from her face. "I have to go over," Lorelai said suddenly. Luke nodded.

"Are you sure you can drive?" he asked her.

"Yes. I can pull myself together see?" Lorelai said standing up. "I just shouldn't read the letter while driving – or think too much about it. But I can drive. And we have so much to do here, we can't both be away. I know I shouldn't, but – "

"Of course you have to go over. Don't worry about the house. I'm sure I can manage, once you show me everything you want to have done," Luke said.

"Thanks," Lorelai said gratefully, leaning in to give him a long and gentle kiss.

* * *

Lorelai was in front of the mansion. How to start the conversation that lay ahead of her? She had debated this question all the way driving here and hadn't come to a solution. Finally she decided to go with her gut. Exiting the car she went to the door and rang the bell.

Emily was gift-wrapping when she heard the doorbell. That couldn't be… but maybe… Lorelai? She quickly got out of her chair, yelling to the maid – wherever she was – that she'd get the door. Standing in front of her was her daughter – Lorelai. She had come. They were looking at each other. Emily just thought that Lorelai looked as if she'd cried when Lorelai stepped forward and hugged her mother. First cautiously, but then she tightened it. Emily was caught off guard, but soon she embraced her daughter as well. How she had wished for this moment. "Thanks, Mommy," Lorelai whispered into Emily's ear. "I love you too," she added. This broke Emily. Tears were rolling down her cheeks. Nobody remembered the open door or felt the cold wind. When Lorelai stepped back a little and saw Emily's tears, some were rolling down her cheeks as well. Finally Emily felt the cold wind.

"Come in," she said, closing the door and leading the way to the living-room. "Do you want something to –" she started, because that was what she was used to saying when entering this room with someone, but Lorelai already shook her head. She sat down on the couch and patted the place next to her and Emily understood. They sat down next to each other. For a minute they were quiet. Then Lorelai took Emily's hand in hers and started.

"You know, I also recognized myself in today's story. I know I was rebellious and not easy to handle – "

"But that wasn't only – " Emily cut her off, but Lorelai already held up her hand to stop her mother.

"Please, Mom. This isn't easy for me. Please don't interrupt me," she asked of Emily and Emily nodded.

"I know I wasn't easy to handle and I don't know how I would've reacted had I been you. I know you wished I'd been different, but I wasn't. But I also know that while I agree not everything was my fault, it wasn't entirely yours either. I am to blame for fights and I knew how to push your buttons – heck I still know how to do it – and I'm not proud of some of the things I did. I guess I never recognized how much I hurt you, but I'm truly sorry I did. And I apologize for every time I hurt you. I'm sorry, Mom," Lorelai said, looking into Emily's eyes. Emily leaned forward and hugged her daughter. It all seemed like a dream.

"I love you baby," she whispered and Lorelai started to cry again. But she forced herself to stop. She wasn't finished yet. She pulled back a little and wiped her eyes.

"I had to leave back then. I'm not sure you'll ever understand, but I couldn't stay here. Not back then. I had to be on my own. However I didn't know how much I hurt you. I didn't know you loved me back then," Lorelai said, her voice breaking.

"But I did," Emily replied, her voice thick with emotion. Lorelai nodded.

"I'm also here to thank you. I've thought a lot about the past these last weeks and I am grateful that you never rejected Rory. That you weren't like Chris' parents. Believe me I saw the difference – always. And I am grateful that I always had a home here. I may not have felt loved, but I always knew that I could come back. When coming here asking for money for Chilton I knew I'd get it. And this is something not everyone has. Even though I didn't use it, I knew you were always there – as a safety net so to say. And I'm here to thank you for the Advent Calendar. The stories and your notes they mean so much to me, Mom. I'm ready to forgive the past and I hope you can do so as well. I want to start over," Lorelai said. Emily took Lorelai's hand.

"I am ready. I can forgive the past. I want to start over. I want you to feel loved. I want to see my grandchild growing up," Emily said.

"You will. I promise you, you will," Lorelai said and the women hugged again. Their tears were washing away a past they had held onto for too long.

"I don't wish for you to be different," Emily finally said, putting a strand of Lorelai's curls behind her ear. Lorelai leaned forward to kiss Emily's cheek.

"You don't know for how long I wanted to do that. I always envied Rory, when she was greeting you and you were greeting her. And then even Luke kissed you and I couldn't. I'm so glad about this calendar," Lorelai said.

"And I'm glad you came over. And don't think I didn't wish that I could greet you as I could greet Rory," Emily admitted.

"You did?" Lorelai asked incredulously. Emily nodded. They both fell silent again, trying to understand what had just happened. How they had changed. Emily was still caressing Lorelai's hand when Lorelai's thoughts trailed off to tomorrow. "I'm thinking for days about the perfect gift for you," Lorelai admitted. "But I can't find anything that remotely shows how much I appreciate everything you did this month. I want this Christmas to be perfect but I don't know what to give you," she finished sadly.

"But don't you see? This is the perfect gift," Emily said, hugging her daughter again.

_~ The End ~_


End file.
